A very big thank you to Mr. and Mrs. Swinging Cajuns for allowing us to include one of their awesome blog posts on our swingers resources page! The following are their words:
Swinging is a team sport. Two people (or ten, depending on how much you love poly) playing together to achieve a common goal - having sexy fun and growing closer together as a couple (or couples...). I have always been anti "taking one for the team." Both Pete and myself are very concerned with the each other's happiness and pleasure that neither one of us want only one of us to have fun.
I will repeat, I have always been against taking one for the team.....
Until it happened.
So, here's the story:
Pete and I attended a member's only club event a few weeks prior to this date. We met this super hot, super fun, super sweet friend, whom we shall call Kristi. We spent about an hour chatting with her and we both knew we wanted to get to know her and her husband a little better.
The opportunity presented itself a few short weeks later for a club takeover in New Orleans. We messaged our new friends and decided to attend this together with a dinner date before the party. We had a pretty decent kik conversation going. We knew we had a ton of stuff in common and we were very much looking forward to our night together.
We met Kristi and Sean for dinner and had a great time. We definitely overstayed our welcome at the restaurant as the conversation flowed easily. We tipped the waitress a little extra for hogging her table and headed out to the club takeover.
This event had around 80 couples attend. We bumped into some old friends that we had not seen since Halloween and made plans with them for the next night. We met new friends and just had a really good time. One of the new friends we met there, had been chatting with Kristi and Sean for a while, but they had not met them in person. I have no idea what their names are, so I will just call them the "other couple." He was very cute and she was pretty and carried "a life of the party" attitude, which I love.
We danced, flirted, kissed..... for a while and then decided to move the party to a more intimate location. AKA a hotel room. Kristi and Sean are just like us: the more the merrier. We chatted with them about adding our two new friends to our party and they agreed it would be fun. So, we headed out, the six of us, for some hotel fun.
We made our way down Bourbon Street to their hotel room. The other couple's husband paired off with me, followed by Pete and Kristi, and then Sean and the other wife. When we made it to the hotel room, this arrangement remained.
I'll leave the details to the imagination. But this is the gist: Sean and the other wife stayed in the living room of the suite. Kristi and Pete along with myself and the other husband found our way to the bedroom. Kristi and Pete got after it. I was starting to not have such an attraction to the other husband.
He was extremely aggressive. (Something I normally love, but his aggressiveness wasn't in a domineering way, it was more like, "hurry up before you change your mind." His kisses were like a high school boy's who had just discovered a female's lips. And then the thing happened....
Let me first say, that this is probably going to make me sound like a bitch... but I'm really not. The LS is about a lot of things. One of those things is satisfying fantasies. One should not be ashamed to say someone else is not their type. "No thank you, not interested" does not make you petty or small minded. It just means you know what you like and you are not willing to compromise. For this, I will not apologize. I have been turned down, I have turned people down. It is what it is. You cannot get your feelings hurt because you aren't someone else' type. -Sincerely, a girl who knows what she likes.
So, the room was dark, only the small light from the bathroom offered a small amount of illumination to the bedroom. He had removed his shirt, but I was unable to see what was under it. During this time, Pete and Kristi were getting seriously busy. I have no idea what was happening in the other room.
A few weeks ago, I posted the definition of "compersion" on twitter. This totally applies here. And it is the singular reason I am still a swinger after this event.
Just about the time I hear Kristi yelling to her husband in the other room how amazing my husband is, I hear a gush of liquid hit the bed. (Interjection here.... just before the play session started, she confided in us that she rarely, if ever gets off in a play session. She also has not been known to be a squirter.) I can't hold my enthusiasm for how good she is feeling and I just giggle. I absolutely love it.
Good thing, too. Because just before this event, I touched the other husband's chest for the first time. NOT MY CUP OF TEA. When I say he was hairy, it wasn't like that sexy hairy. It was like a German Sheppard. And of course, his back felt the same way. I may have thrown up in my mouth.
At this point, I had one of two choices: Get up, roll out. Or make an adjustment so I did not have to deal with touching him and allow my husband to continue rocking Kristi's world and enjoying himself.
I chose option B. "I want to get on top," I tell him. I figured I would not have to touch him if I was sitting. So, we switch. And then I realize I still had to see him. So, I turned around. This continued for a few moments and then I faked an orgasm, rolled off and told him I was too sensitive to continue. #kthanksbye.
I hate to say that his personality matched his chest. Not in a good German Sheppard way, like loyal and loving. More like in the aggravating 70's shag carpet way.
After the play session was over, we were all getting dressed. He started messing with Kristi. He tells her to "get on my dick." She tells him no, politely and then adds that she doesn't want to because her husband is in the other room. He says, "I don't care, I gotta hard dick!" A few other things that I overlooked at the takeover are now glaringly obvious.
He kissed me initially without consent and grabbed my breasts. He was bouncing around the party like a Jack Russel Terrier puppy who had just had a bath. Almost like he was just dying to find something to put that hard dick in. I asked Kristi about it later. She said she had noticed, but just chalked it up to him being nervous. Now, neither one of us think that was the case. We are pretty certain he is just extremely immature.
So, the question I have been asked is this: Would you do it again?
I have thought about this over and over. I have replayed the night in my head and though about how I could have avoided feeling so ugh. Other than not inviting them to join us, I really don't think I would have changed it. I absolutely get off on hearing my husband do his thing and experiencing other women receive such pleasure from it. I am starting to see that while I love the variety and play with other people, I think my favorite thing about the lifestyle is the enjoyment my husband receives from both our play sessions and our reconnection time.
Which brings me to my final thought on that evening.
Usually, after a play session, I cannot keep my hands off of Pete. I am not kidding when I say we have had sex driving on the shoulder of the road on the way home from a play session because I just couldn't wait. This time, I knocked out on the way home. Pete tells me, "You look so cute sleeping with your mouth open and snoring." (he was serious.) When we got home, I showered, jumped in bed, snuggled up to Pete and passed out. The next morning, we talked about my lack of interest in sex or physical intimacy with him, other than our stupid close snuggling that we do to fall asleep. We arrived at one conclusion: I had no need to reconnect as I never disconnected. He, on the other hand totally did. So, we reconnected a little later than usual. It was, however a one sided disconnection/reconnection.
xoxo, Sara.