As a hotwife couple and those that speak often to other lifestylers, it is very common for us to receive questions about the swingers’ site profiles of other nonmonogamous folks. We so often harp on the bios, the photos, the first message or two, and the importance in all of these things of putting your best foot forward. After all, for most of us lifestylers, the online profiles we keep are the first glimpse others have into us as both sexual and friendly people: What do we look like? What is most important to us in play partners? How could we share vanilla time with you in a mutually-enjoyable setting? And yes, all of that is very important. But in my opinion, one of the most important elements of an online profile is something seen before ANY other element of your account: Your profile name!
Now let me be clear: I am far from a prude, and I appreciate a sexual quip or play on words as much as the next person. If a profile name is both silly and sexy, I’m in. The problem arises when I see one of two very specific types of profile names: Either the incredibly raunchy ones, or the most generic and boring names I can possibly imagine.
A recent example of the former is a single gentleman that reached out on a BDSM platform we have a profile on. His screen name was something along the lines of “9inchesofHardSteel.” He reached out in the exact way I would have expected him to: “Hey baby, I’d love to give you my 9 inches.” Needless to say (or at least I hope so), I was very unimpressed. This is a guy who portrays himself as someone only interested in the sex, not a connection or a true understanding of who I am as a sexual and overall being. While that might work for some ladies, it is far from my thing.
Some honorable mentions, by the way, include, “BeaverLiquor,” “YoungNHard,” and “MyDkis4UrMouth.” As you can probably guess, all of these profile names belonged to single men. But I would be remiss to not mention the couples that also fail (at least in my eyes) at the name game. One that immediately comes to mind is “MyWifeisHotPlzFckHer.” Hey, at least others aren’t left guessing what it is they are looking for, right?
As mentioned, the other problem with many swingers screen names is that they are incredibly generic. They tell you nothing about who these people are, what they are interested in, or what makes them special. A couple that recently reached out allowed me to use them as an example for illustrative purposes. Their screen name was (insert city name) SwingerCpl. Ok….so I know where you live now, but other than that, there is literally nothing that gets me excited about reaching out. And after speaking to this couple, they couldn’t be further from basic and boring. They were such a delight! So we discussed them changing things up, and they decided on a much sexier and exciting profile name instead….Much more in alignment with who they are as lifestylers.
In other words, stay away from things like your city name followed by a description, a physical description only, or a play on words that has been overused times a million. Between a plethora of sexual euphemism, lifestyle buzz words, and creative puns, there are so many fun ways to go with a username. So, think about it! And go wild!
Now, allow me to explain the real reason I bring this topic up: From my personal experience, there are two types of non-monogamous people. The first type is the person that genuinely wants to be successful in this space and therefore steps out on a ledge to impress and attract other people. The second type is the person who phones it in, either because they don’t take the lifestyle seriously or because they have had experiences come very easily to them for one reason or another. Either way, I respect so much the people that understand that their online personas, whether it’s shallow or not, are their way of showing true and genuine effort. Effort is so sexy to me, especially as a hotwife who has dealt with soooo many single men who simply don’t possess the ability to show effort. So if you want to have a whole lot of fun and connect with amazing people in this space, it is my sincere advice that you take the time, from the screenname you choose and leading into every other aspect of how you present yourself in this lifestyle.
If you’d like to contact me directly about this information or any of my previous pieces, I can be reached at mail@frontporchswingers.com. And don’t forget to check out my weekly podcast, Front Porch Swingers, that I host with my amazing partner, Brian!