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How to Approach a Hotwife

We've spent the last 3 days at a lifestyle resort. It's quiet here during the week, and it's given us this amazing opportunity to sit back and watch how people approach each other in these environments. It's also made us realize how successful some of the single men in attendance can be using a bit of charisma and a lot of respect! So, we thought we'd share a few tips on the best ways to approach hotwife couples at clubs or events, in the hopes that it will help everyone have a whole lot more fun!


Tip #1: Approach the Hubby First

This one is big for Brian. Often what has happened in the past is this: Brian will leave me alone for a few minutes, to use the restroom or to grab a drink. Single men will wait until Brian steps away from me to approach me for the first time. This is pretty cowardly. You expect my partner to be ok with you having sex with me, but you can't even give him the respect of speaking with him? It also makes Brian feel like the guy is shady or doesn't have the best of intentions. Of course, not the first impression you want to make!

The best thing you can do is this: Introduce yourself first to the husband or male partner. Provide your name, and maybe sneak in a very respectful and genuine compliment about the hotwife. For instance, approach the husband with, "Hello, my name is (blank). I've been noticing your stunning lady from across the room and wanted to introduce myself to you both." Follow it up by asking for permission to approach the hotwife as well: "Would it be ok if I introduced myself and maybe asked her to dance?" Husbands will be so impressed with this, mostly because it's rare! That initial showing of respect goes so far, and it sets the right tone for the rest of your interaction with the couple.

Tip #2: Treat Her Like a Lady

Yes, we are at a lifestyle event for a reason. Yes, I am a very sex-positive person who loves to engage with other men. This does not mean that I am a piece of meat to be treated any way a man chooses. Nothing will turn me off faster than a man approaching me with a creepy or entitled vibe.

My advice is simple: Approach the hotwife just like you would approach a woman in a vanilla bar. You wouldn't walk up to a woman in a bar and tell her how amazing her tits are, or tell her you want to fuck her so badly. You'd introduce yourself, maybe pay a respectful compliment, and begin a normal conversation. This is EXACTLY what should happen during that initial conversation with a hotwife. Be a gentleman, and keep in mind that creepy men in the lifestyle have likely left a bad taste in her mouth from previous experiences. The more you can come across as normal and thoughtful, the more you will set yourself apart from the ass holes that have come before you.

Tip #3: Have Something Interesting To Say

You have no idea how many times this has happened: A man will approach me respectfully, pay me a compliment, then have absolutely nothing to say once those first 30 seconds are over. They are unwilling or unable to engage in genuine conversation. Worse yet, I am talking, trying to break the ice, only to receive 2 or 3 word responses in return. It's exhausting, and a huge turn-off.

Not naturally a great conversationalist? That's ok! Have a few questions you can ask that will drum up some discussion and a chance for both you and the hotwife to feel more comfortable. Open-ended questions are best, as they require more explanation and are less likely to result in a dead end. A few examples:

"What are you most excited for during this event?"

"What other events or clubs have you guys attended?"

" When you aren't at lifestyle events, what are some of the things you guys enjoy doing?"

Tip #4: Show Interest, Without Being Creepy

There is a very fine line between making it known you are interested in play, and being a straight up creeper. Some easy ways to avoid that line are as follows:

- Pay the hotwife genuine compliments, and make them specific. Instead of, "That's a great dress," try saying something like, "That dress looks stunning on you, and that blue color really brings out your eyes!"

- Smile and make eye contact. This tells me everything I need to know about your interest. Plus, it can be very sexy, when that initial sultry eye contact occurs.

- Don't focus in on the naughty bits! Nothing will make me run faster than hearing, "You've got amazing tits!"

- Don't tell her what you want to do to/with her. Leave that for when clothes are coming off, and you are genuinely asking for consent to do those things.

Again, remember, she has likely been approached in the creepiest ways possible in the past. You really do need to work to show her you are different, that you respect her, and that you want her to feel comfortable with you. Keep that in mind throughout your conversation.

Tip #5: Let Her Steer the Ship

Once chemistry has been assessed, and it's obvious that both parties are interested, I don't think there's anything wrong with explicitly stating interest. But don't be pushy or make the hotwife feel pressured in any way. Allow her to tell you she wants to play or otherwise move forward. Here's an example: "So it seems like we're connecting, and of course I find you so beautiful. If you have any interest in something unfolding, you just let me know." This allows the woman to make a decision, the ball is in her court.

Also be aware, not every woman is looking to play right then and there. I rarely play at parties and events, but I use those social times to network with new people. Often I will meet men at an event, tell them I am not interested in playing in that environment, but that I would like to get their contact info to hang out at a later time. In this situation, I highly recommend again putting the decision-making power in her hands. Provide her with your contact info, let her know you hope to hear from her, and leave it at that. If she is truly interested, and you've made a good impression, you will hear from her.

Tip #6: You're Going to Play? Check In with Hubby

This tip is more so for the times when you will be playing separately from the hotwife. Often, hotwife couples like to play together with single men, either with the hubby watching or in a threesome dynamic. But if you and a hotwife decide you are going to break away and play just the two of you, keep this very important tip in mind: The husband needs to know your intentions!

One of the more impressive showings of this happened very recently. A single guy and I had decided we were going to sneak away to my room for some alone time. He politely excused himself to approach Brian, who was chatting with other people nearby. He politely asked Brian if he could interrupt and walked with Brian away from others. He told Brian that I had invited him back to the room, and he wanted to ensure Brian felt comfortable with that happening. Brian told him yes, and simply asked him to be respectful to me. The gentleman assured Brian he would be as thoughtful as possible, shook Brian's hand, and thanked him for the opportunity. We were both very impressed by that!


Here's the reality: If you are a single man at a lifestyle event or club, you will be up against a lot of obstacles. Ass holes have left a bad taste in the mouths of a lot of couples, and this will unfairly be held against you. Whatever you can do to break down those walls and make the couple feel comfortable will aid in your success. As a hotwife couple that sincerely loves when I engage sexually with men, we're rooting for you! And we hope this writing has provided you with a few thoughts on how you can put your best foot forward!


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