There is so much information out there regarding why a man might want to be a cuckold. In fact, as people who podcast about the subject, we are asked almost daily, "How can I get my wife to be a hotwife or to cuck me?" But rarely do we hear about it from the female perspective. Hence, this post.
A little background about me. I am a partnered woman in a consensually non-monogamous relationship. Much of our journey has been the two of us participating in which can best be described as a stag and vixen dynamic. My partner, Brian, often calls the shots in our play, by helping to find and vet the guys, set up the dates, and even drive me to meet the guys. He is not interested in humiliation, but he has indulged my desires to play with someone larger than him. While certain elements of our play could be categorized as cuckolding, Brian has always and likely will always identify as a stag. He likes to have say, and to be the one steering the ship.
While I love Brian's assistance in all of this and how it brings us closer together, I have recently discovered a deeper desire for a true cuckold/cuckoldress dynamic. Luckily for me, my partner is open to and encouraging of this desire and has agreed to allow me to pursue it with another man. While his blessing has been wonderful, it's also resulted in an immense amount of self-reflection. The biggest question I've pondered over and over again is, "Why do I want this? What is it about me and my personal sexuality that has me yearning for a cuckold?" Today, I'll do my best to flush out my thoughts in the hopes that they might assist other women in understanding their own desires.
Reason #1: The Power Shift
While we've come a long way in recent years, it is still safe to say that a woman's power in this world is marginalized at times. There is no greater example of this than when it comes to sex. Men are celebrated for being sexual in nature, because society has deemed it positive. Women, on the other hand, are caught in this very strange trap. Men want us to be their sexual objects, but then we are shamed for expressing ourselves as such. It's a lose-lose situation...
Cuckolding is almost like a secret world in which that concept is turned on its head. Women are in power. Cuckoldresses do things for their own sexual satisfaction and hone their sexual power to get what they want. Better yet, cuckold men celebrate that sexual power and freedom. They themselves gain satisfaction from knowing that they are with a woman who can muster the strength and confidence to chase their fantasies. That shift, one in which women are in the driver's seat, is so intoxicating to me.
Reason #2: I'm Turned On by a Secure Man
I used to think Alpha men were the epitome of confidence. I always sought out very A-types as a result of that. I've learned through speaking with many cuckolds that this assumption is incorrect. It takes an insane amount of self-awareness and self-acceptance to be a cuckold. You have to be incredibly comfortable with yourself and not have shame around who you are as a person. Moreover, you're allowing other men (or women, or non-binary folks) to engage with your partner. That alone takes so much confidence in yourself and in the relationship as a whole.
The qualities needed to successfully be a cuckold turn me on like crazy! I was recently speaking to a proudly self-proclaimed cuckold. The conviction in his voice, his pride for his wife and her ability to chase her desires, made me realize how emotionally strong and intelligent he was. And he's not alone.
Reason #3: I Want to Have My Cake and Eat it Too
While I am currently in a hotwife dynamic with my man, we have many times talked about opening up our relationship. He is already playing with a regular play partner and will continue to cultivate new sexual relationships. Therefore, our dynamic is shifting slowly to more of an open relationship. While that's fine, and I'm happy that my partner is exploring, I would love to have a more closed-on-one-side situation...
In a perfect world, my cuckold would be perfectly happy with me being the only one to ever be non-monogamous. He would engage with me and be content with simply hearing about extra-relational encounters. Why is this sexy to me? I can't explain the psychology. Maybe it's because it would be wonderful to feel doted on like that. Maybe it's a power move yet again, my ability to somehow be dominant over a man I care about. Or maybe, I'm a spoiled brat who wants it all. A monogamous commitment on one side, hot, sweaty, animalistic fun on the other side.
Reason #4: I'm a Size Queen
And a proud one at that. I used to really resent that term and feel as if it was a horribly negative thing. Now, I embrace it. I can't help that physiologically, a larger penis feels better for me. And I won't apologize for it.
Having a man in my life that is not only ok with my size queen tendencies, but gets turned on by it, is the dream! I'd love to show my cuckold a pic of the man I intend to play with and have him say, "Wow, he's so big! I know you'll enjoy that!" This does not mean that small penis humiliation is a must for me, but it would certainly be a bonus.... Again, back to that confidence. A man that can admit that he's unable to please me in ways others can is a showing of the ultimate level of security and self-awareness. Plus, it could lead to some very hot foreplay and dirty talk!
This barely scratches the surface of my thoughts, mostly because I'm still working through them myself. I am confident that I will one day meet a man who understands these desires and wants to help scratch an itch I find growing more and more intense as time goes on. If you are a cuckoldress or also interested in this world, please leave your thoughts below as to why this feels like a good fit for you too!