I've talked about this concept on the podcast, but I recently started explaining it to a new play partner and wanted to really explore this idea: Swinging is like eating ice cream.
Think about it: For some, when they go to the ice cream shop, it is to enjoy the same flavor every time. They are creatures of habit who know what they like. For the purposes of this analogy, let's say they are ordering vanilla ice cream (See what I did there?) They walk in, order their vanilla ice cream, not even looking at the mint chocolate chip or rocky road flavors. They know already that's not them. Yup, you guessed it: These are the monogamous folks, the ones that don't dare venture away from what they know. And that's totally ok for them....
Then there are those that get an itch to try something new every once in a while. These are the folks that typically order the vanilla ice cream, but have this craving for something a little more wild on rare occassion. Maybe they walk in, oggle over the chocolate chip cookie dough, but eventually decide to go with their safe choice of vanilla yet again. These are the people that will then go home, wishing they had the courage to order that crazy flavor, even just once. In the swinging world, these are the people that want something more, to explore, but aren't yet able to verbalize it to their partners, or even fully admit it to themselves.
Then, there are us swingers. We walk into the ice cream shop fully expecting to order a different flavor each time, knowing that each flavor will bring a new delight along with it. I relate one single guy I see regularly (Clint) to birthday cake ice cream, always a like a little gift in my mouth (Yes, I went there). Often times I'm fully expecting something exciting like strawberry cheesecake, but quickly learn I have more of a fat-free frozen yogurt situation on my hands. Brian is my banana split, so many delicious things all rolled together and always a new possible combination of flavors.
To me, being consensually nonmonogamous is about experiencing new people in new ways, much like ordering ice cream. I think it's great if a person can be fulfilled with just one flavor for their entire lives. But for those of us in the lifestyle, we know that trying new flavors all the time can bring so much fun, not only to ourselves but to our partners as well. Just one of many reasons Brian and I have chosen this path and look forward to many more fun sampling of flavors in the future!