Updated: Apr 19
As a hotwife, I've come to learn one very important lesson regarding my interactions with single men: A little effort goes a very long way. When we first started in the lifestyle, this lesson was foreign to me. I thought, "Well, I'm not dating these guys, so why does it matter if they make me feel important? After all, Brian (my partner and soulmate) makes me feel important every day!" The truth is, just that little extra effort has so many benefits in hotwife interactions: For me personally, it makes me feel more connected to them on a friendship level, it deepens the trust I build with them, and it makes me feel valued beyond just a sexual level. All of these elements, I now know, make sexual interactions that much more explosive. When I feel wanted and respected, I feel like I can be more myself in sexual situations, which is a win for everyone.
Today I'm providing 4 of my very favorite ways single guys have shown me that little bit of extra effort. For you bulls or prospective bulls, hopefully this will aid you in creating a better experience for yourself and the hotwife the next time you meet one. For you couples, maybe this will inspire you just a little to look for solid guys who give you the extra razzle dazzle! After all, ladies, you deserve it!
1. Pick Up the Tab
Throw all the "dating" etiquette out the window. Offer to pick up the tab, especially on the first meet. We've had exactly two single guys do this, and it made a huge difference. Not only was it a very gentlemanly thing to do, but it showed Brian that these guys were serious: They weren't just coming to meet a woman and potentially fuck her, they wanted to impress. It's a very simple way to start your friendship with a hotwife couple off on the right foot.
The next logical question is, "Do I have to pick up the tab every time?" I say no, especially if you are meeting both the male and female halves of the hotwife couple on multiple occassions. This shouldn't be a situation where you feel obligated to pay for everything, and if a couple asks or expects you to do so, you're absolutely being taken advantage of. But offering to do so on occassion or every other time you are out is a very nice touch that will surely impress the couple you're interacting with.
2. Don't Come Empty-Handed
I recently started interacting with a new gentleman (he's been discussed on the podcast). The first time he came to our home for a playdate, he brought a nice bottle of Chianti with him. He explained that he was taught to never come to someone's home for the first time without a gift of some sort. It was a small gesture, but a very appreciated one. It showed me that he thought about our time together in more than just a sexual way: He was eager to please me. He opened the bottle, poured it for me, and even explained why he had chosen that bottle to bring for me that evening.
Once again, this is not a situation where a hotwife should expect to be showered with gifts. You aren't technically dating this woman as the bull. But bringing something, small or large depending on your budget and comfort level, can go a long way. I've heard of hotwives receiving lingerie on their first or subsequent play dates. Also a very classy move.
3. Ask Questions
I love when a bull or prospective play partner asks me about myself. And I don't mean the normal obtuse sex questions like, "What's your favorite position?" I appreciate it immensely when they try to get to know me as a person. What do I care about aside from sex and hotwifing? What are my goals in life? What's my favorite movie? Asking these questions helps to develop a friendly dynamic much more quickly, and will surely put a hotwife more at ease with a gentleman caller. This tip costs you nothing but time, but I honestly think it's the most important. Remember, bulls, a hotwife may be a sexual creature comfortable enough with herself to show that off, but she's much more than just sex. Treat her as such, or lose out on getting to know her more intimately.
4. Befriend the Stag
This is probably the tip most near and dear to Brian. He likes to feel comfortable with the men I play with regularly. It not only puts his mind at ease knowing I'm with someone legitimate, but it also makes it easier to share my time. Let me be clear, I'm not saying the bull and the stag need to become best buddies, spend every Saturday night together, etc. I'm saying as the bull, it's a very nice gesture to make an effort to get to know the hotwife's man. This can be as easy as inviting him out for coffee once in a while, or checking to see if you have shared hobbies. This time together, be it in person or digital communication, will help the stag see a bull as someone he can trust with the love of his life. If you act as if the stag is not part of the equation, things could easily go south very quickly, locking you out of the dynamic altogether.
We talk often on our podcast, Front Porch Swingers, about single guy tips. Often, they are no-brainers: Be respectful, be clean, show up on time, etc. The 4 tips provided today are like Being a Bull 2.0. They are the actions you can take to really stand out from the pack, to seriously impress a hotwife couple, and to ensure you are invited back to the fun over and over again. Effort is sexy, and that's one of the most important concepts a bull must learn for long-term success in the hotwife lifestyle. We sincerely hope this has helped both you bulls and hotwife couples out there. For more information on our coaching services for single men and couples, make sure you check us out at https://sexonyourterms.com.